Motivational Article

His directness startled me, but pleased me immensely. Children seek out other children like food. They need to connect and play as surely as they need to breathe. Why can't grown-ups be like that?

As adults, we never lose our need for new relationships, but we do lose our ability to seek them out. Unfortunately, without exercising our ability to connect, our circle of relationships shrinks like a muscle that is never used.

So why does that happen? Because…

•  We are suspicious of other people. (All those years of hearing “Don't talk to strangers” left an impression!)
•  We become shy: we turn inward for comfort and company rather than outward.
•  We fear the pain of being rejected.

Basically, we are afraid of taking a risk.

The same is true of our ideas and opinions and beliefs. We were taught (at home, at school, by our culture) that maintaining strong opinions and points of view makes us a powerful, reliable, grounded, and intelligent person.

We weave those beliefs together based on our experiences over time. We cling to them like a warm blanket and they become our protective identity.

After years of being wrapped in the same ideas and beliefs, it becomes very difficult to shed them, shake them out and examine them. Often it takes a major crisis (heart attack, divorce, accident) in order to do unwrap the blanket.

What if there are holes? What if our blanket is worn out and doesn't serve its purpose anymore? What if it falls apart completely and we are left cold and shaking?

Faced with the task of finding the yarn and pattern to make a new blanket, many people would be daunted. “But I am too old to learn to weave!” Others would welcome the opportunity to create a new blanket, with new textures and colors to enjoy. They would recognize and embrace the chance to learn and grow.

That is what transformation is all about. Transformation is different from change.

Change is local and temporary (losing weight). Transformation is wider and permanent (becoming healthy).

Change is in the outside circumstances (avoiding fearful situations). Transformation is in the inner world, which creates the outer circumstances (transforming fear into excitement).

Let's look at the life cycle of a butterfly as an example of transformation vs. change…

First, there is the egg that hatches into the caterpillar which is the primary eating and growth stage of the cycle. The caterpillar absorbs what is available from its surroundings and then coats itself with a covering called a pupa or chrysalis.

Then, inside the chrysalis, the transformation stage occurs where the caterpillar develops to maturity. The shell is a safe, protected place for the caterpillar to be. It is changing, yes, but it is a deeper, more irreversible process that leads to the creation of something entirely new and different.

Finally, the butterfly cracks through the chrysalis emerging into the sun. It unfolds its new wings and takes flight. The original shape and structure of the caterpillar is still there, but it is hardly recognizable. It is infinitely more beautiful and interesting as a fully-formed butterfly.

Would you rather be a caterpillar crawling around on the ground or a butterfly soaring in the air?

How to be a butterfly

It's quite simple, really:

You need to question your concepts and be open to the answers. What is important to me? Am I doing what I want to be doing? Do I like myself? Do I feel happy and fulfilled? Do I make other people happy? Allow whatever answer that comes.

If after honestly examining your beliefs and they seem to support you, then reclaim them. This time they are yours (not your parents', teachers', society's, church's, etc...)

If they are not supporting you, then shed them like that hard cocoon. They are not allowing you to emerge into who you really are.

Once you crack the shell and push your way through it, you are free! You are no longer confined to one leaf. You can fly in any direction and drink from any flower in the garden.

So, fly. Be free!