Motivational Article

I did let go, and she did fall, but she was okay. And I was proud of her determination and independence. The next day, she needed help to get going and I could tell she was reluctant to ask me. After the fuss she made, she was embarrassed to ask me even though she knew she couldn't manage getting on the bike without a boost.

It's not so easy to ask for support. Think about Moving Day (we have all experienced some variation of this scenario).

You finally found the perfect house. The offer was accepted and the closing date is this coming weekend. You've collected boxes, tossed or given away your unwanted things and you're nearly packed. You are all ready for the big day except for one important problem. How on earth are you going to move your stuff?

You have several options:

•  You can do it all by yourself. (No, you really can't. You can't lift the furniture and heavy appliances—even some of those book boxes weigh a ton. Plus, your car is too small.)
•  You can hire a moving company. (You've just sunk all of your money into the new house--professional movers are beyond what's left of your budget.)
•  You can give up and forget about moving altogether—it's too hard. (I don't think so!!)
•  You can ask your friends and family to help you.

Ugh—you hate to bother anyone. Moving is a pain and no one likes to do it. You hate to ask them to trade their free time for a favor for you. And what if…

…they say “No”? They might, but they might also say, “Sure, no problem!”

…it rains all day? So what? Everyone will get wet. It will make for a good story.

…I have to return the favor? You probably will, but wouldn't you help them anyway?

…they realize I can't do everything on my own? Maybe in most cases you can. In this one, you can't. So? No one can handle every job single-handedly. It's okay!

There is no reason to feel guilty or ashamed about asking for help. Nine times out of ten (the tenth being they were already busy), people want to help others. And ten times out of ten, people benefit from the support of others.

Look at the global success of programs like Alcoholics Anonymous and Weight Watchers and Habitat for Humanity. These programs are designed to support people who acknowledge their need for help in making very personal changes in their lives that would otherwise be beyond them. The success rates are phenomenal.

Back to moving…Most people will offer their aid and support expecting nothing in return. But if you accept help in the spirit of mutual giving, so much the better for both of you. You may find that one of your friends has a truck. Another may have some effective packing tips you didn't know about.

In return for their help, turn the event into a party: play music, provide food and drinks, and make memories. Take lots of pictures and send copies to everyone with a personal thank you afterward. And be available when they need your help in the future.

Seeking and accepting support teaches us some important lessons:

•  We don't have to do everything on our own.
•  When you ask, there is almost always somebody who is willing to help.
•  Any 'mission impossible' for one person is 'no sweat' for a bunch of friends.
•  There is no such thing as ‘too many cooks': they don't spoil the broth, they just make a bigger, more diverse meal (and they do it faster than the Chef).
•  Friends who play together, stay together. Helping each other brings us closer and makes us feel like we belong.

The next time you can't or don't know how to accomplish something by yourself,
take a risk and ask a few people to support you.

Reach out and grasp the hand extended to you. It could be your lifeline!