Every 12 months, as the New Year rolls around, our favourite thing to do is declare (again) that we're going to join the gym, lose weight, stop smoking, cut back on the alcohol and spend more time with our family. We are definitely going to do it this year--starting January 2. (January 1 being reserved for recovery from that one last hangover).
Most of us are completely self-absorbed-our vision for renewal and improvement extends no further than our own noses. And worse, we usually don't follow through on our "Me-oriented" resolutions and goals. In a matter of months (or weeks, or days!) we've forgotten all about or given up on our "new improved" character or physique.
The result? Feelings of frustration and failure. The benefit of the whole resolution-making exercise? None.
Most 'experts' tell us not to elevate our expectations too high. But maybe we fail because we don't set our goals high enough.
What if we looked outward instead of inward when making our resolutions? Would we then be able to look back at the end of a year feeling satisfied and successful, rather than inadequate and irresolute?
I'd like to suggest one resolution that might last a year, or maybe even a lifetime: a resolution that makes you feel good about yourself while including and benefiting others.
It's not my idea so I don't want to take any credit for it. The idea comes from Catherine Ryan Hyde, a writer from California, who wrote the novel 'Pay It Forward' after a series of events happened to her (it was later a film directed by Mimi Leder).
The idea is simple: you do one good thing for someone else. This person cannot 'repay' you; he or she is encouraged to "pay it forward" and do something good for someone else. Then that person pays someone else, and so on....
The mathematics is simple. If I do something constructive for 3 people and these 3 people each do something for 3 other people, we have already impacted 9 people in total. These 9 people will make a difference in the lives of 27 people, which in their turn will touch 81 people's hearts...
See how fast it grows?
This simple mathematical principle has been used and abused through multi-level marketing and pyramid schemes. This year, why not use the same principle to make the world a better place.
Of course, there will be those people that break the chain. But others will reach out and touch more people than you could possibly imagine.
Just open your heart and give something of yourself. It doesn't have to be money! There are many ways to touch people: an action, a hug, a word, a smile. Offer a homeless person that warm coat you haven't worn for years. Help someone fix a flat tire. Take a meal to an elderly neighbor, or leave it anonymously on their doorstep. A small thing to you can be a huge thing to someone else.
Last December, a friend of mine took her son to the hospital for minor day surgery. While in the waiting room, she noticed another beautiful 2-year-old little boy playing with a truck. As soon as he saw the doctor come into the room, he started to cry, "No, no, no…" My friend asked the mother if he'd had a bad experience with the doctor before and she answered, "Well, he has cancer in his left eye and we are here for treatments every two weeks."
My friend was deeply moved. She noticed that the little boy did not have a teddy bear or security toy with him to comfort him during the radiation, so after her own son's procedure, she went looking for a soft toy for this child she knew only as "Keith". Two weeks less a day later, she returned to the hospital and left the snuggly bear gift-wrapped for this young patient with an unsigned note to his mother acknowledging her strength and a offering a deep wish for his recovery.
That delivery was my friend's Christmas gift to herself.
Trust in the goodness of man and allow yourself to be overwhelmed.
Make it your resolution this year, and remember:
It takes ONE NATION to make a difference in this WORLD.
It takes ONE COMMUNITY to make a difference in this NATION.
It takes ONE FAMILY to make a difference in this COMMUNITY.
It takes ONE PERSON to make a difference in this FAMILY.
You are the ONE!
Go ahead and make someone's day. See how it makes YOU feel.
Then when they smile back and thank you, ask them to pay it forward...
Article by: Nisandeh Neta, founder of
Open Circles, an international center for personal-growth and
leadership.
Visit http://www.opencircles.nl
to learn more about how you can make a difference, through living
your dreams.
